Monday, September 19, 2011

Don't call it a comeback! Seriously, don't.

I think the time has come for me to revive this blog back to it's former glory, so I think I am going to start posting again.

We will see if I can maintain it, but I think I probably can.  Plan for some posts, friends!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

O. M. G. :(

I am a huge AC/DC fan. Huge. I have every album, I can play large chunks of many of the songs, I have the DVD set, everything. They aren't quite my favorite band of all time, but they are pretty close. Now, I have a friend who hates AC/DC and would argue that they are everything that is wrong with rock and roll. He and I disagree strongly on that point of view, but I can guarantee with absolute certainty that he would view this video as I do: An abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Do not enjoy.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Scary movies are tiresome

I know that horror movies are popular, and I know that they aren't going to go away, which is fine. I don't want them to go away, I just want them to be more interesting. Every once in awhile something comes out that gets everyone all excited, but for the most part, horror movies and slasher flicks all follow the same tired formula:

1. Cast a bunch of hot chicks that are nobodies and one or two hot chicks that have some street cred.

2. Repeat with some dudes. One, possibly two of those dudes must be black.

3. Have the entire group somehow inter-relate to each other regardless of the social or economic unlikelihood of this happening.

4. Kill one, possibly both of the black dudes. Also, one or two of the hot chicks.

5. Let the nerdy dude survive just long enough to impress upon one of the other hot chicks that he is worthy of her attention. In movies, as in life, once this beachhead has been established crushing disappointment (in this case, horrible death) will overwhelm him and push him back into the sea.

6. The known actors will make out.

7. Possibly both will make it, more likely just one. In any event, the monster/murderer will get "killed"

8. If more than forty-three dollars was made at the box office, start pumping out sequels.

9. Repeat. Endlessly.

However, I have come up with a concept that is not only relatively new, but I believe would also be interesting. Show the movie from the perspective of the monster. Seriously, hasn't anyone wondered what Freddy or Jason or Michael do in their spare time? I mean, they aren't always killing, right? It takes some time to plan out these attacks, so there have to be days where absolutely no slaughter occurs.

It's like NASCAR, really. Dale Earnhardt Jr. doesn't just race and make ads. He also sleeps, reads his mail, looks at the Internet, goes out to eat, and makes sweet, passionate love to groupies. I am better actual seat-time for Junior only takes up maybe 10-20 hours of his week. Therefore, it must be that Freddy, when not sticking his finger-knives through the supple flesh of teenage virgins, does something.

Therein lies the plot of the movie. Perhaps you show Freddy sitting around his apartment in hell playing x-box. He notices that there are all these sleeping bastards on whom he can exact his vengeance, but he just decides to make some popcorn and enjoy the new Halo. Perhaps he also enjoys painting or walking his dog or something similarly pedestrian. If nothing else, you gotta figure the guy reads or something. I assume it's something crappy like the Necronomicon, but still.

In any event, make something different and I will probably watch it.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Chocolate David

One of my favorite artists ever is this guy named Phil Hansen. I like that he does cool stuff in totally unexpected ways. Anyway, not really a comedy post, but what can I say? I kind of like the art now and again too...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I have returned.

Well, allrighty then.

After a layoff of more than a year in which I have spent time contemplating life and developing new ideas (to include finally deciding to give stand-up a try), I have decided to start the ol' WIde World of Timbo back up again.

I missed it, man... The camaraderie, the negative posts by anonymous, the monkey/bear scenarios... I missed it.

To welcome myself back and to prepare everyone for future hilarity, I give you Jane Austen's Fight Club. Let us get it on!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Friday, August 21, 2009

Songs For Driver.

Here are some songs for the band, man.

SOme good old blues reinterpreted

I like the slow, heavy groove on this one...

Finally, some rocking

Friday, July 17, 2009

Workplace safety is no joke.

This is the most horrific workplace safety video I have ever seen. I got it off of, but it is evidently a real video. I don't want to plagarize, but what sort of fresh new hell do these people work in where everything from an impalement to a factory fire have occured? Also, the guy with the oxy-acetylene tank gets owned.