Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Most. Metal. Dog. EVER.

I know I said I wasn't going to post videos for a little bit, but this dog is so rocking that I just couldn't help it. Throw the goat, little puppy, throw the goat. \m/

Black Magic Pwned

If you read my blogs, ever, you know that my favorite website outside of The High Road is Neatorama. Once again, Neatorama has posted something that I feel is worthy of further comment, Timbo-style.

Evidently, in India, Black Magicians are something of a concern. This Indian guy, Sanal Edamaruku, who is the president of something called "Rationalist International" decided to lay down the gauntlet, and challenged a Black Magician (or "tantrik") to kill him via the dark arts on live television.

Needless to say, nothing happened. The original idea of this being a 15 minute experiment stretched into two hours, at which point the Tantrik said he had a mega-death spell that would only work at night. Sanal said "O RLY" and challenged the guy to throw down with his super evil hotness that evening. Not unsurprisingly, Sanal still walks among the living. It's not a bad story, so check this link if you want to read the whole thing:

Note that I included a picture at the top of my link. My one complaint with Sanal is that he didn't have some more fun with it. Like, if that was me, I would have occasionally screamed in horrendous pain just to screw with the guy. If that failed, I would have taken it up a notch and collapsed to the ground. Finally, as a showstopper, I would have used my indomitable will and intellect to stop my heart for a little bit, then I would have popped back up after 5 or 10 seconds and said "Pwned, Black-Magic n00b!!!" That would have been more awesome than fireworks on the 6th of July.

New Enemy of Man.

My friend Randy sent me an article recently in which he expressed concern about bears not being our number one enemy anymore.

First off, let me make it clear that I don't consider bears our enemy, but rather an honored foe. Nothing is more glorious than dying while engaging a bear in a fist-fight. You know that your probably not going to win, but on the off-chance that you do, your pretty much the most awesome guy in the history of man. What Randy was concerned about is the Sting-Ray, because evidently, some new person got killed by one the other day.

This got me to thinking. I have always considered the shark to be our biggest underwater enemy, but it's possible that there is some sort of sting-ray rebellion happening there in the briny deep. Or, inasmuch as sting-rays are concerned, the briny shallows. I will need to see more evidence of rebellion before I put sting-rays on my watch list. Right now they are just on my radar. If there are substantially more attacks resulting in human death, they will go on the big board, and sting-rays, you don't want that.

I would also like to congratulate Randy for doing the correct thing in alerting me. The only person who is better suited to determine overall animal hostility towards humans is my friend, The Sweed, and he doesn't have a blog. I have spent many hours contemplating the impact of an animal insurrection, and am therefore qualified to keep the general public advised of potential danger. "Meerkat Manor" may be something you watch for fun and entertainment with the family, but for me it's basically surveillance. Animal Kingdom, you would do well to remember that.

Good Night Now!

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bacon Lollipops: Apex of civilization?

Searching the intertubes this morning led me to a little company called "Lollyphile" thats makes two flavors of lollipops at present: Absinthe and Maple-Bacon. I have tasted absinthe and determined that it sucks, so I couldn't care less about them. If absinthe is your thing, well, you start a blog and review them on your own.

The maple-bacon lolli's are touted as being made with real, farm-fresh preservative free bacon and organic maple-syrup. I am not sure how something that comes from a tree can be anything but organic, but whatever. The point is, the lollipops are made with real bacon and maple syrup, and that's awesome.

They not only sound delectable, they apparently are delectable, as evidenced by this review of them here: http://www.baconunwrapped.com/. If you read the review, I think you will find it as funny as I do that there is a "bacon blogosphere"

I immediately thought of two people when I saw this product: Gary and Sweed. Both are bacon zealots, and Sweed is also a candy fanatic, so this is really a dream come true for him.

If you want to order these meaty delights, click here: http://www.lollyphile.com/maple-bacon.php

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Nuggets open a can.

So, the Denver Nuggets pounded the Starbuck-infused grunge out of the Supersonics on Sunday. They scored an incredible 84 points in the second half alone, and ended up beating the Supersonics 168-116. That's pretty cool, all things considered, but it does beg one question:

Where was the defense, Nuggets?

Sure, you can score 168 in a single game, and that's gnarly, but how could you let Seattle score 116? 52 point victories are generally a cause for celebration, but not this time. In crushing the Sonics, you only managed to prove that you can't play defense. I mean, 116 points typically wins a game, right? Maybe you could have blocked a shot here or there? I mean, if you want to win by more points than most teams typically score in a whole half, maybe you should do so in a more defensive manner. Stupid selfish Nuggets, only about "scoring" and "soul-crushing defeats". Seriously, D up guys.

Of course, I am joking. The Nuggets have actually had a pretty incredible year this year, but despite that, they stand a very real chance of not even making the playoffs. The Nuggets, as of today, are 40-26. They have lost only 7 games at home. In the Easter conference that wouldn't seed them first in the playoffs, but it would put them at number 4, which is pretty good. In the Western conference, we currently are seeded 9th, which means that we need to have a pretty good winning streak to get to the 8th and final seed. It could happen, as we are only 1.5 games back from Golden State right now, but it isn't a given, and the Nuggets are going to have to sweat blood to make it.

What this speaks to more than anything is that the Eastern Conference sort of sucks. Sure, the Celtics are having a fantabulous year right now, but if you look at the standings, it's pretty clear that they just aren't as good a conference as the West is.

Allrighty, I am going to stop writing, because I feel fairly certain no one is going to care about my views on the Nuggets, but whatever.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Dana Perino, I love you.

So, in an earlier post I mentioned that White House Press Secretary Dana Perino is pretty hot. This video proves my point decisively. Never has my heart been so aflutter listening to someone answer questions about whether or not the Vice President is a member of the executive branch or not. More truthfully, my heart has never been aflutter listening to anyone discuss what branch the Vice President belongs too. Whatever. Dana Perino is purty, and that's the whole point.

Also, I think this is going to be the last video I post for a little bit. I don't want my blog turning into me posting every video that I find. I do this so I can write and get better at writing, to hopefully entertain a little bit, and to get chicks. Embedding Youtube videos isn't really a suitable way to hypnotize the ladies with my obvious charm, and thus I am going to slow it down and let the sweet white chocolate that is Me permeate my posts a little more. Good day.

Another Improv Everwhere video.

Improv Everywhere has once again caught my attention with this video. I posted one of their videos a few weeks ago in which a couple hundred of their "agents" all just froze in place at Grand Central Station, and while this one isn't quite as big, it's still pretty cool.

This will likely be the last time you ever see me say "enjoy this musical", so enjoy this musical.

Monday, March 3, 2008

This video saved you from a rant. Enjoy.

I had a whole long and detailed rant written and ready to go describing how Soulja Boy, Jibbs and a whole host of other modern-day rappers comprise the very definition of the suck, but I decided to kill that one and present something awesome instead. This comes from Randy, who is evidently a Broncos fan. I don't know how he fits that into his unbelievably busy hockey-fan schedule, but he found it and he deserves the credit for it.