Three things I learned from late night TV.

As usual, I was having a hard time getting to sleep tonight, so I thought I would invest some time watching post-Conan O'Brien late night programming. As it turns out, there isn't a whole lot on, so I ended up splitting time between Oprah and C-Span. I learned three things.

1. Valerie Bertinelli was the guest on Oprah, and since she used to be married to Eddie Van Halen, I thought I would watch in the event that there were some good Van Halen tidbits to pick up. What I learned was is that sweet little Valerie Bertinelli is kind of a whore. She seems like a nice person and all, but she evidently enjoyed sleeping around prior to, during, and after her marriage to EVH. She also slept around with Steven Spielberg and made out with some chick. Then, she kept talking about getting busy in general. Honestly, I would have never guessed that about her, but those were the words from her mouth. Also, she is still kind of hot at 47 years old.

2. White House Press Secretary Dana Perino is more than a little bit attractive. Watching her chastise reporters for not understanding the Presidents views on the economic stimulus package, the Patriot Act and a reluctance to raise taxes had me thinking one thing: Saucy! Really, I am not making this up. She was a touch severe, as all professional DC women seem to be, but overall she has to be the hottest press secretary ever. Granted her only competition in that arena is from former Clinton administration press secretary Dee Dee Myers, but still.

3. Also, apparently we are all missing out on making a lot of money buying foreclosed homes and flipping them. Rachel Edson from Port Ritchie, Florida reported that with no money down, she was able to buy two homes and then flip them inside three months for a profit of over $300,000 dollars! Exciting news indeed. Evidently this guy has a system that all the corporate fat cats don't want us to know about, and evidently is guaranteed to make us money, so maybe we should all look into that.