Sunday, December 9, 2007

Don't anger the van gods.

While watching the Broncos today, I saw a Honda ad in which they compared the custom vans of the 70's to the newly redesigned Honda Odyssey. Evidently, Honda is attempting to convince people that the van gods are pleased with the new iteration of the Odyssey, and should therefore buy it.

Duck and cover, Honda. Duck and cover...

Minivans are not cool. Practical and comfortable is what they are, but cool they are not. Anything that is intended to haul around a soccer team, a months worth of groceries, the family dog and have good city gas mileage is definitively not cool. 70's vans, on the other hand, existed for one purpose: Chicks. Sure, the vans were theoretically practical, but any vehicle that spawns the saying "If this vans a'rocking, don't come a'knocking" has transcended mere utility. I suppose that if you were a fantasy muralist, you could also make the argument that they existed as a canvas for your art, but really, how many fantasy muralists are there?

Honda, ignoring the simple fact that literally no one has ever gotten laid because they owned a mini-van, is really doing nothing more than pissing the van gods off. If I were in Honda's marketing department, I would immediately start rewriting the ads to say things like "The new Honda Odyssey: Something you can drive to Walmart" and "The New Honda Odyssey: Drive it to a Barack Obama stump speech".

Whatever. If you need a minivan, they are pretty practical and I can dig that. You will never convince me that they are cool.


Melly said...

the best part about that stupid ad... is they play a KICK ass song, so it catches your attention and makes you think.. this must be a great ad.. NOPE!! it's about a stupid Minivan.. although.. I fear there maybe a Minivan in my future!!!! AHHHH!!
as usual.. great blog Timbo!

Anonymous said...

Now if you could "tub out" the good 'ol Honda Odysey and put Cragar mags on it. Put a tear drop window in the back quarter panel. Play eight tracks with CCR. Work over the soccer mom on the water bed in the back. Then maybe we could make some kind of comparison! Nice try though.