Friday, April 4, 2008
NKOB Reunites: Global manliness drops 37%.
Much to the delight of a certain girl I know, NKOB are reuniting. Cripes.
Donny Wahlberg, what are you thinking? Your acting career is finally taking hold, you have finally moved past your New Kids on the Block stigma, and now your jumping back in? Way to go, dude.
I honestly can't think of a whole lot to say about this. In their day, NKOB were the leading favorites of pre-teen and young teen girls everywhere. Now, those young and pre-teen girls are (presumably) saucy twenty and thirty-somethings, and evidently studies indicate that there is a serious lack of crappy music for them to listen to. Hence, the reunification of all the New Kids. There is a really stupid joke about the New Kids on the Block being the Middle-Aged Men on the Block now, but I won't stoop to that level. That would be wrong, and would not uphold the high comedic standards of TWWoT. Also, I could joke about them being a "Man-Band", which I actually think is sort of funny. Man-Band... pure gold.
Thats right. I initialized it. TWWoT is awesome, and if you sound it out, it sounds dirty, which is unintentionally rad. NKOB on the other hand, just sounds stupid. N-Kob. Stupid. Anyway, there are lots of bands out there that suck, and I guess that NKOB just feels like it is their turn to cash in on sucking. If anything, they were smart to wait until the Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC were completely forgotten. Wait until the competition is irrelevant, and then slide in. Good idea, NKOB!
I guess my greatest fear here is that lesser, and by extension, crappier eighties boy bands will also reunite. Anyone interested in seeing Soul2Soul again? New Edition? (well, actually, probably lots of people would be interested in New Edition...) Are we looking at a resurgence of interest in Tony Toni Tone? Jodeci?
If you don't think I am serious about this being a big fear, consider that MTV reported that fans went "bonkers" upon hearing about the NKOB reunion. Bonkers. MTV actually used the word "bonkers". While I appreciate the happy, light-hearted feeling that bonkers denotes, it creeps me out that MTV would use it. This is, after all, the same channel that airs such shows as "Laguna Hills". One day they should just broadcast a show called "Sexually ambiguous sluts and idiot pretty boys who whine about everything and slap-fight at the drop of a hat" and get it over with. That being said, "Rob and Big" is a pretty good show.
Anyway, I am veering off course with this, so let me conclude and just say that I am horrified that NKOB is reuniting.