I liked Magnum P.I. back in the day. Tom Selleck was the coolest, what with his sweet 1911 and his Ferrari and his free bachelors pad on a Hawaiian plantation. Throw in the seemingly endless stream of hot-to-trot chicks, occasional gun-battles and two best friends that own, respectively, a helicopter and a bar, and you pretty much have the perfect life.
Not all was good in Magnum-town though. Every once in a while Magnum would flashback to Vietnam, and I have to assume that the Ferrari got a flat tire here and there. Plus, you know, skin cancer? Put on some lotion, Magnum. More troubling than the PTSD and the cancer was the fact that Higgins was always on his case, man. Stupid Higgins/Robin Masters, why can't you leave Magnum alone? He shoots the guns and flies in helicopters, you discuss DeBussy and Proust with your friends and leave it at that.
Occasionally though, Higgins proved useful. Take the video below, for example:
Uhh... What? Seriously? An old lady ordered her attack parrot to attack Magnum in order to keep him from attacking her for attacking Higgins? That would be crazy enough on it's own, but then you have to consider this: Higgins convinced the parrot to cease it's attack and commit suicide by talking to it. In it's native tongue. Out of all the possible talents in the world, who would have thought that would be the one to keep him from getting shot?
Bro's, Magnum P.I. is the coolest. I bet that pansy Michael Knight couldn't have talked a parrot into killing itself.