Evidently, water is groovy.

Through a long and convoluted journey through the bowels of the Internet, I stumbled across a website by a guy named "Mr. Emoto" in which he reveals the secret healing powers of water. Evidently, "From Mr. Emoto's work we are provided with factual evidence, that human vibrational energy, thoughts, words, ideas and music, affect the molecular structure of water, the very same water that comprises over seventy percent of a mature human body and covers the same amount of our planet." (actual quote.). Mr. Emoto also includes several pictures of water crystals taken while playing music and after having typed messages taped to bottles of distilled water.

Breaking this down a little, let me respond to the following: We cannot have factual evidence of how awesome water is when it based on the decidedly nonfactual claim that there exists "human vibrational energy". Also, and I very honestly might be wrong on this as my knowledge of chemistry is very weak, but isn't the molecular structure of water pretty much always going to be H2O? How does one affect that?

This all basically serves to point out one of my pet peeves: Wacky new-age theories on how to heal. Look, spiritually, you can believe whatever you want. I neither care nor concern myself with the wide variety of things in which people place their faith. That being said, please don't try and convince me that playing Vivaldi is somehow going to make the water I drink better and bring about significant health benefits.

It's not that I think that modern medicine is always right, nor is it to say that traditional remedies are always wrong. It is to say that in no way, shape, or form do I believe that exposing my water to Slayer is going to have a negative effect on how it chemically reacts within my body. I mean, I am drinking water out of a cup with the Colorado Avalanche logo on it as I type this. Mr. Emoto's "research" would indicate that I might be better served by drinking from a cup with a Blackhawks logo, or perhaps even no logo at all. My own research leads me to believe that it is entirely likely that Mr. Emoto would posit that I should drink from a cup made of iron extracted from a fallen star and forged by dwarfs deep within the Carpathian forest. Further, I should probably stand in the healing circle of healing while sipping it.

Mr. Emoto also apparently believes that our souls turn into water when we die:

"Similarly, when a person dies their body loses several grams of weight -- what some people think of this as the weight of the soul. But then we can often visually see them. I think that the soul has mass, and that it returns to water molecules. And because it has mass, it is affected by the gravitational pull of the earth. And so sometimes the soul cannot transition over to the other side."

Essentially, Mr. Emoto just said that for every sip of magic healing water, you're basically pounding down someone's soul. Gross.

Anyway, it's just my own little pet peeve and I thought I would share it. If I have offended with my rejection of the mystical powers of water or human vibrational energy, too bad. Drink some water that has a message about forgiveness for my faults taped to the cup and deal with it, wacko. If you want to read more about Mr. Emoto's fantastic discovery, click here:

http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm